Anniversary
LD005

Isn't it great when two people
make such a cute couple?

<<>>

I was thinking of Starsky and Hutch,
but you two run a close second.

Happy Anniversary!

Divorce/Breakup
LD030

Ran into your ex the other day
and it was so awkward.

<<>>

Thought I'd never get the
smudge off my fender.

Give me a call!

Girl Talk
LD038

So Doll, want to go out
for a little Italian?

<<>>

What the heck,
let's get a tall one.

Girl Talk
LD041

So Doll, if he says
he needs to find himself,
tell him

<<>>

'You're a jerk.
There, I saved you the trip.'

Girl Talk
LD047

Doll, I'd tell you
about my love life,

<<>>

but I have more fun on
my riding lawnmower.

Girl Talk
LD048

Men - can't live with them,
can't kill them, clean them,
and stick their heads on the wall.

<<>>

Well, not without making a mess
you'll just have to clean up.

Thank You - Pet Sitting
LD057

If you put out food and water
and make sure they get petted

<<>>

men hardly notice you're gone.
Animals, of course, require far more.

Thanks for pet sitting, Doll

Girl Talk
LD061

No Doll, I'm not a model

<<>>

I just have to stand like this
when I cough, laugh, or sneeze.

Don't ya love being a girl?

Friendship
LD062

The doctor said I should
elevate my legs more.

<<>>

Like he's the first
man to tell me that.

So what's up, Doll?

New Baby
LD063

New Baby? Just don't jog
while you're lactating.

<<>>

Unless you need the butter.

Congratulations!

Divorce
LD065

Heard about the divorce, Doll.

<<>>

Does that explain the
hump in your backyard?

Thinking of you!

Friendship
LD068

So Doll, the other day the cable guy and I
were in the trapeze playing Tarzan and
Xena Warrior Princess, when suddenly
the cat jumps in -

<<>>

What?
Didn't you know I had a cat?

Guess we need to catch up

Friendship
LD070

I'd get more done,
but I suffer from DGC*

<<>>

*Don't Give a Crap.

Have a great do-nothing day!

Friendship/Support
LD071

Don't worry, Doll

<<>>

Most problems can be solved
with a shovel and an alibi.

Thinking of you!

Friendship
LD075

So Doll, I finally found a swimsuit

<<>>

But you can't look at me if
you're nursing, pregnant,
or have a pacemaker.

Any achievements your way?

Thank You
LD076

So Doll, it looks like we have
the same cross to bear...

<<>>

exquisite taste.

Thanks a million!

Friendship/Support
LD078

What's that, girl?
Little Timmy's down a well?

<<>>

So at least he has plenty of water.
Some days I just can't be bothered.

Motherhood
LD080

Oh Doll, don't you miss
when the kids were little?

<<>>

Like the second trimester?

Stay In Touch
LD088

Sorry I haven't written,
but I've been on my book tour,
losing 30 pounds,
raising 24 war orphans,
and addressing the UN.

<<>>

Oh, and I'm taller.

Your turn.

Thinking Of You
LD092

Here Doll - Sometimes you just
have to have a good cry

<<>>

I assume that's why
we retain water.

Thinking of you!

Thinking Of You
LD094

Listen Doll, whenever someone says
"Keep your spirits up", I think

<<>>

Good Grief, I have to lift those, too?

Hope things are better soon!

Colonoscopy
LD102

So Doll -
Here's what I don't get
about colonoscopies -

<<>>

Remember when it was
rude to stick a camera
in someone's face?

Caregiving
LD103

Hi Doll - sorry it's been a while,
but I had to take Mom for groceries.

<<>>

We got back a week later.
Hope this finds you with your feet up!

Friendship
LD110

A good friend goes with you
to the restroom.

<<>>

A great friend covers an
embarrassing sound you
make with a little cough.

Thanks for being a great friend!

>

2nd Marriage
LD119

Just remember, Doll -
First husbands are like training bras.

<<>>

Quickly outgrown, mostly for show,
and no good when you need heavy lifting.

All the best!

Anniversary
LD124

Know how to tell you've
been married a long time?

<<>>

You see your wedding photos
on the History Channel.

Happy Anniversary!

New Parents
LD125

My advice for new parents:

<<>>

Decide what to feed them based
on the color you're wearing.

Congratulations!

Friendship
LD126

So Doll -
It was great catching up!

<<>>

Usually when people say
"knows where the bodies are buried"
it's just an expression.

Looking forward to next time!

Boomerang Kids
LD127

Oh, it's you Doll -
sorry I've been out of touch.

<<>>

My kids have been trying to move back
and I'm hoping they'll think I'm dead.

Hang in there!

Cruise
LD128

You know, Doll,
a cruise can be so restful.

<<>>

Given the way the ship moves you can
have sex without waking up.

Have a great time!

Friendship
LD138

I was told to bring
my ax to therapy.

<<>>

Oh - "bring my ex."
That's very different.
Ever have one of those days?

Encouragement
LD141

Time for new ones since
I've managed to break my last dish.

<<>>

It took a while since I only have one hammer.
Don't let stress win, Doll -
Hang in there!

Congratulations
LD146

Way to go, Doll - I'd clap for you,

<<>>

but my Camel would ignite my gin.

Congratulations!